Seeking "p versus p"
Download eve.
Roll minmatard.
Don't know wtf I'm doing.
Do some missions.
Buy stabber after 5 days.
Feel like leet stabber pilot with dual tank and random guns in the highs.
Some guy asks me to duel.
Ask for isk because if I lose ship I'm broke ****.
Sends isk.
Do can flip thing for duel.
Harbinger undocks.
Guardian undocks.
Stabber explodes.
Rage.
Ask noobcorp what to do.
They say join FW.
Join FW for TLF since I'm Minmatard and I have to.
Die 47 times first month.
Kill 10 times first month.
Only 1 solo kill on slicer because he "warp to 0".
Feel like a ******* champ.
Get invited to minmatar FW corp.
They say I need to fly Hurricane ASAP.
Save isk.
Buy Hurricane.
Fit 2 800mm plates in lows.
Fit crappy tech 1 guns.
Might have fit shield in mids.
I am pro hurricane pilot.
Go to small gang engagement.
Use whopping 1 month of skill training and no real pvp experience to fly **** fit cane.
Die in a horrible fire.
Consider rage quitting.
Convo someone who killed me previously.
Ask why I suck.
Says I'm flying **** I shouldn't be.
Tells me to fly rifters.
Sends me 20mil isk to go buy rifters.
Buy rifters.
Die more, but actually have fun.
Train to be the leetest rifter pilot in all of new eden.
Start killing **** more often.
Don't become leetest rifter pilot, but have most fun ever.
Run into boring lame instalock gate camp "p versus p"
Almost rage quit again because can't get into lowsec to do real "p versus p"
Ask someone to JF **** to lowsec so I can ignore the wannabe "pirates" who do the "pro gate camp p versus p"
Broke **** again because rifters slowly all die off.
Start following this Amarr gang who run missions.
Start stealing their tags in missions.
They laugh at me for being broke ****.
Making 20-50mil per night following these dudes.
Feel like billionare.
Actually only have like 500mil due to rifters dying.
Start flying thrashers.
Getting better.
Decide corp is too inactive and want to do lame highsec and wormhole ****.
Join another FW corp.
They are more active.
Kill more ****.
Buy first PLEX with ISK.
Never pay for sub again.
Get into Ruptures and Stabbers.
Actually able to fly ships correctly because spending time training.
Start hating minmatar blobbers.
Start abhoring lame minmatar corps/alliances who just like to blot out the sun with blob.
Speak to arch nemesis in Amarr.
He is cool and gives pvp advice.
Keep getting better.
He convos me and tells me to join Amarr since I'm not a blobbing idiot.
I say I am not leet yet.
He says I can be leet if I join Amarr.
I challenge him to 1v1.
He butchers me.
He tells me to join Amarr.
I fly to his space and plex (before plexing gave LP, used to be for pride).
Wait for enemies to show up.
Die.
Come back.
Die again.
Come back.
Kill something.
Die.
Come back.
I get told to join Amarr again.
I join Amarr.
Minmatar call me traitors.
I tell them to get ******.
Amarr call me spy.
I tell them to get ******.
Flying under ARETR flag.
God of space in my own mind.
Get better at pvp.
Get told by corp that talentless hacks fly minmatar ships.
Get told by corp that pros fly Amarr.
Start learning to fly Amarr ships.
Owning people left and right.
Small Amarr gang vs. minmatar blob.
Small Amarr gang owns minmatar blob.
******* **** up constantly.
Cynthia Neztits and me become BFF.
Kill bhaelgorn with 3 battlecruisers.
Blow up wreck because I can.
Get respect from corp.
Corp disbands to start new more elite corp.
Flying under AVNG flag.
Kill more people.
Of course dying because AVNG pilots have ********* and take risks.
Consider conquering Ushra'Khan home system.
Calculate odds of success at 10%
Decide to go for it because Amarr FW pilots have testiclces.
Gather up the 5 pilots AVNG has.
::ushrakong:: undocks all 120 members.
Conquer Ushra'Khan home system.
Tackle Archon on gate.
Hold Archon for 15 minutes with 5 pilots vs. 40 ushrakong.
Amarr militia shows up.
Take over Eugidi Constellation.
Take over Arzad.
Become space wrecking ball.
Go to Gallente space.
5 AVNG pilots plus super-*******-chair strike fear into blobbing gallente.
Toss some frogs around.
Instapop a daredevil with a tornado.
Laugh so hard decision is made to self destruct tornado.
Tornado explodes.
Go back to Amarr space.
Cynthia has killed everyone in minmatar militia.
Fly with Cynthia and kill more people.
Realize Cynthia has 172 alts and all of them can fly a falcon.
http://i.imgur.com/f74mf.pngMake "Welcome to FW" album.
Big hit everywhere.
Kill more people.
Start getting blobbed since 1v1 most people die who aren't linked.
Realize everyone except me has links.
Refuse to train/buy links alt.
Talk more **** than anyone in the history of FW each time I kill linked pilot.
Keep flying with Cynthia.
Enemy thinks I'm Cynthia.
Friends think I'm Cynthia.
I'm not Cynthia.
Keep killing everyone.
Become FC.
Defend Sahtogas.
Bathed in glory and respect from all except minmatards who have no *********.
Finish grad school.
Killing less people.
New Amarr FW people flying around.
Get job.
Killing even less people.
Not recognizing anyone in FW.
Work 80 hours per week on "slow" weeks.
Barely can log on so kill a couple people only.
Don't know anyone anymore.
Don't log on for 3 months.
Don't miss EVE.
Log back in.
Something something Burn Huola failed.
Everyone I know sans a few leet pilots like Stalking have rage quit.
Indifferent.
Decide it's time to hang up the boots.
Decide it's time to GTFO of EVE.
http://i.imgur.com/c6xGi.jpgRetire.
Dump 50bil in savings into PLEX.
Unsub with a month left on account.
Go to browser.
Go to eveonline forums.
Go to character bazaar.
Offer to se...